Just regulate…3 strategies to support your nervous system
Nothing like a little distraction to help automatically reset your nervous system.
Also known as auto-regulation, the goal here is to distract your mind enough to allow the nervous system and corresponding breath and heart rates, to automatically return to a state of homeostasis- fun word meaning stable equilibrium. Ah, doesn’t that sound nice? To know that distracting yourself by binge watching the latest Netflix series or losing yourself in a 1,000 piece puzzle can actually help you regulate your nervous system-automatically? Give your mind a break from your current emotions and a chance for your body to calm down through the power of distraction.
A friendly note: There can be more supportive ways of auto-regulating than others. Some distractions may provide temporarily relief in the moment but are ineffective and more harmful in the long run such as self harm, substance use, and long term avoidance of your emotions.
Auto-Regulation Techniques:
Exercising (walking, yoga, dance, martial arts etc)
Get outside, spending time in nature
Counting backwards
Playing a board game or video game
Counting things around you
Reading a book
Doing jigsaw, crossword, sudoko puzzels
Writing or journaling
Focusing on your breath
Knitting
Watching a TV show or movie
Doodling
Listening to music
Cleaning or organizing
Crafting/scrapebooking
Comic relief
Use someone else’s nervous system (pets count) to help co-regulate yours.
Humans are wired for connection. Co-regulation is the process of being with someone or something that you trust and helps you feel calm and safe.
If you are anxious or upset, and someone you love takes your hand, gives you a hug, or just sits with you, they are co-regulating with you. Just being in the presence of another, whether diving deep into the grief or not saying a word, can help regulate your nervous system. Furry friends are amazing co-regulators so if a caring human is unavailable, find a furry friend. Co-regulation isn't about asking someone else to fix us but instead about using the power of the relationship to bring us to a place where we are able to take care of ourselves.
Co-Regulation Suggestions:
Do any of the above auto-regulation suggestions alongside a caring other whom you trust and is comforting.
Invite a friend to watch a movie, go out to coffee with a family member, schedule an appointment with your therapist.
Find a furry friend to pet, cuddle or play catch with.
Take a moment to breathe with your partner or loved one.
Toss a ball back and forth with a friend or partner.
Hug someone you trust with your hearts touching and hold each other until you both feel relaxed.
Do something together to change your state of body and mind. Sing, dance, laugh, jump up and down.
Self-Regulation
Self-regulation is not distraction. It is not relying on another’s nervous system for regulation. Self regulation occurs when you are resourced enough- within your window of tolerance enough- to “be with” whatever is present within you and around you from a place of curiosity and compassion. When you move into self-regulation you move towards being with your grief and other distressing states without being overwhelmed by your experience. Self-regulation happens when you consciously begin to tend to the parts of you that want to be known, witnessed, understood, and cared for. Self regulation is really about learning to listen to the innate wisdom of you bodymind to support deep healing and embodied transformation.
Self-Regulation Suggestions:
Parts Work
Somatic Awareness
Hakomi Method
Inner Relationship Focusing
Mindfulness
Compassionate presencing techniques
Practicing Self Love
Practicing Radical Acceptance
Somatic Experiencing
Balance is Key
We need all 3 types of regulation (auto, co and self)
Using all 3 will give you a greater repertoire to deal with tough feelings.